I am the Queen of multitasking.

As you all know, they say that you have to be able to multitask to get ahead in this age.  Well, I want you to know, that as a pit bull, I have all of you completely squashed.

I am a fantastic multi-tasker.  Have you ever given any thought to how much multitasking a dog does everyday?  Let take some time to explore this. 

 

Ok, case study number one, do you see the kid on the left?  That's my sister - Madison.  She cannot multitask.  Even though she has thumbs and hooman thought processes - do not ask her to do more than one thing at once.  Please don't - for your safety and hers.  Walk and chew gum - NOPE.  Shower and Sing - NOPE.  I really am completely in awe that she wakes up every morning - sleeping and breathing?  That's dangerous for someone like her. 

 

As the worlds most awesomist pit bull terrier, I multi-task all of the time.  Seriously.  Think about it.  I walk and wag my tail.  I walk and act cute. I walk and smile.  I eat and wag my tail.  I can eat flip flops and run at full speed away from the old lady.  I mean, really, the list goes on and on and on.  I am definitely the queen of multitasking.  I deserve a show in HGTV or something.  (I was going to say animal planet, but, seriously, I prefer to spend time with hoomans and not animals.)

 

Just sayin folks, never ever underestimate the intelligence of your fur baby - think of all of the things we do at one time.  

Where I came from..

Let me tell you about me.  My name is Shelby.  That is short for Shelby Sue. 

My story starts back in February of 2012.  The big guy (my dad) was at work when some guy walked up to the door with me on a rope.  He engaged Dad in a conversation about cars which let to dogs.  You see, my Dad owns an automotive repair shop and is one of the biggest dog lovers you could ever meet.  He could not help but ask about me.

So, anyways, this guy that had the rope around my neck started telling my Dad about how much money he could make with a fighting Pit Bull.  Little did I know - he was talking about me.  I mean, seriously, who would have thought, me.. fighting... seriously??  Well, fortunately, the big guy took me into the office to show me to the old lady (my mom).  Old Lady said she didn't want any more dogs and no way!

Well I went home with the other guy with the rope around my neck.  I didn't realize that the big guy had gotten my phone number from the guy with the rope.  He called later and told the guy with the rope that he would trade car repairs for me.  Seriously, how insulting.  I am not a form of payment. 

Well, two days later, the big guy and the old lady showed up at my house with three kids to pick me up.  Heck, I like riding in cars, so, what did I have to lose by taking a car ride?

I sat in the back with the kids, they were pretty cool.  I knew right away that I liked children and that I was headed to some place fun.  I could hear the old lady talking to the big guy about pit bulls.  She was scared because pit bulls are mean and could not be trusted.  I remember thinking, who the hell would want a pit bull... they sound horrible!  (I honestly had no idea that they were talking about me!)

I got back to this house with the family and met my other sisters.  Roxy and Chloe were somewhat nervous when I came in.  I figured it out pretty quickly, they really were not nervous, they were jealous because I had a tail and they didn't.  I mean, seriously, it looks like someone whacked their tails off.. that is so weird.  They had to be jealous.  I could wag my tail and hit them and knock things off of the tables and, well, all they could do is wiggle the ridiculous little nubby things that barely covered their butt. 

My first few days were pretty cool.  It was obvious that the old lady was a little nervous about me.  I love to give kisses and well, when I give the kisses she would get this scared look on her face.  Honestly, this prompted me to give more kisses because the scared look on her face was so funny that I wanted to pee myself.  Thank god I am always smiling - that way she didn't know I was laughing at her. 

Well, after a few more days, I think that I had started to make my mark around the house.  I ate a couple of really delicious flip flops and even a DVD.  You know, hoomans are really attached to shoes.  If only they knew how liberating being barefoot was all of the time.   Testing the limits was so much fun and easy.   I run really fast and have a sweet smile that the big guy could not resist.  (He is such a push over.)

Well after about a week of sleeping on the cloud where the hoomans sleep and the consumption of plenty of shoes and fun things I found around the house, it was time for another car ride.  Something about a doctor. 

What a shock.  These seemingly nice people took me to this other person who was hanging out with lots of other dogs decided to poke me... and even stick something up my behind.  How rude was this?  First I am a form of payment now someone violating my personal space.. and I mean it was VI-O-LATE-ED.  This guy decided to make it better by giving me a cookie.  (you can see that day in the picture above)  Seriously, you think I am going to eat a cookie from the butt toucher?  I didn't even see him wash is hands!  I just held it in my mouth until he turned around then I spit it out. 

The big guy and the old lady thought that was so funny.  I did it again just to make them laugh.  It was at this moment that I realized just how easy these guys were going to be to completely win over. 

Well, this is just the start of where I came from.  In one week, I figured out I was used for trade, I was taken home, I ate some exquisite shoes and I had my behind violated.  I just knew that I was in for an interesting life.